7 Things You Need to Know About Vaginas

Vaginas (or vagines as I like to lovely call them) are like magical mystery machines. Full of awe and wonder, they can do things you wouldn't even dream of. But if you're anything like me you probably take your vagina for granted like you do air or water. You stick a tampon or a menstrual cup up there, let in a penis, shoot out a kid, and call it a day. But she is taking care of you all the time, whether you know it or not.

Dare I say it, I think as far as gentalia goes the vagina is far superior to the penis. What the hell can a penis do besides get hard and shoot out some jizz? OK that getting hard part is kind of cool, but we can do that too. Sort of. More on that later. And balls? They just look like those little punching bags that boxers use and they're weak as shit. As my friend Betty White has said “Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” And I couldn't agree more. Go #teamvagina.

1. There's only one vagina

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First things first. Your vagina does not refer to your entire lady parts. You’ve also got the vulva, cervix, and the clitoris. If you want to keep calling all your bits collectively “vagina” by all means go ahead but know the difference!

2. Vaginas have pleated walls

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You know how an accordion or an umbrella can open and close because of its pleats? Well a vagina is the same way. This, my friends is how your vagina expands. So next time you have a baby or have sex and a giant penis, a fist, or vibrator enters it, you can thank the old gal.

3. Vaginas can fall out

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I don't want to freak you out but your vagina can fall out. Like an inside out sock. Yikes!!!! I don't know about you but the last thing I want to see in between my legs is my vajayjay. That bitch better stay put. But don't worry it's nothing that can't be fixed.

4. The meaning of vagina

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The word for vagina comes from Latin and means "sheath for a sword".  Let’s see if they use that one on Jeopardy.

5. Vaginas are self-cleaning

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6. Vaginas clean themselves; kind of like a self-cleaning oven. So forget those douche commercials. In fact, discharge is the way your vagina cleans itself. These gooey secretions flush out cells, water, and bacteria that are up to no good. Just stick to scrubbing between the labia and you’re good to go!

7. Vaginas Get Bigger


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Just like a penis! When you're excited, your vagina doubles in size, extending in length to accommodate a penis. This fascinating biological phenomenon is called tenting. All the more reason to wait until you're aroused to get things started.

8. Vaginas Like Exercise, Too

 


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And you don't even have to go to the gym. In fact, I'm doing mine now. Vagina exercises, otherwise known as Kegels, can be practiced anywhere — even while you're at work. Just tighten your muscles down there, as though you're trying to stop the flow of pee. Hold for 10 seconds, then release. Do five sets three times a day. A toned vagina can make orgasm easier, keep pee from dripping out, and make childbirth easier.

 

 


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