It's official. 2017, the year that will forever be known as a sack of horse manure, is finally over. Which means it's time to take a long hard look at yourself and realize how you haven't really become a better person at all.
New Year's resolutions are a great idea in theory. But the reality is they never work. Your life isn't going to change because of some arbitrary decisions by ancient Christians that January 1st is the start of another year. Kind of like you're not going to learn how to ski by watching people on the slopes. Trust me I tried. If you want to lose weight or quit smoking, you would have done it before. January doesn't mean shit.
If you're still committed to resolutions, fine. But don't aim too high. And don't be all vague, like I'm going to go to the gym more. If you went approximately never, then going once a week will seem like an improvement. That's a bullshit resolution. Pick an actual goal, like writing in your journal 4 times a week or giving up gluten (if you don't have Celiac disease I am secretly rolling my eyes at you). Or just go to the Women's March and call it a day.
Hopefully you'll make some realistic goals that you won't give up by the time MLK weekend rolls around. 2018 is going to be a long year of more nonsensical tweets so let's buckle up guys and not make the year to hard on ourselves, K?