If you find yourself in the throes of wedding planning and you feel like you're going bonkers, I highly recommend some adderall and vodka to help you get through it. I get that your wedding is THE. BIGGEST. DAY. EVER. But srsly, no one wants to deal with a a crazy biyatch for months. So tone it down and try to be the cool, chill bride and not bridezilla.
1. You give zero fucks about your husband
Girl if you spend more time with your wedding planner than your groom-to-be, you've got a major problem. You might want to let him know his first dance will be to Bon Jovi's "I'll Be There For You" and not Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back. It's his wedding too!
2. You don't know what the word budget means
It's one day of your life. Honestly, no one is going to give a fuck if you have petunias instead of roses. Blowing the budget for one day isn't worth it.
3. You're having total meltdowns
So there was another hurricane that wiped out the entire supply of figs so your caterer can't serve that fig goat cheese appetizer that sounded so delish. Instead of behaving like a rational human being, you throw a fit comparable to Veronica's in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
4. You insist on "perfect" photos
A professional photographer is totally expected and A-OK. But telling people to wax or lose weight is NOT.
5. You're inflexible
Shit happens, because duh that's life. When you get pissed because your "vision" can't be executed the way you want it, because your father-in-law broke his hip and is in a wheelchair you're being an ass. Just. Stop.
Be a cool bride. Check our our bridesmaid and groomsmen cards here.