The Present You Really Wanted for Christmas: A Vibrating Alarm Clock.

Now that Christmas is officially fucking over and you have to go back to work, it's time for some real talk. Waking up. It's a pain in the ass. I have 2 sunlamps and I still feel like I've been run over by tank every morning. 

What you really need is a vibrating alarm clock. You set the alarm, wake up when it tells you to, shove it in your cooter et voila! Orgasm. Maybe you're single AF and don't have the pleasure of having someone fart next to you while sleeping. Or maybe you don't like the idea of having sex while you still have eye crusties. Or maybe you know he or she just can't get you off as quickly as a vibe can. 

via GIPHY

For $120 Little Rooster will provide you with such pleasure. It even has 27 different levels which is probably more than your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/fuck buddy will ever be able to provide. And faster too. Let's face it, tongues can only do so much. 

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