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No alarm clock. No meetings. Finally, a reason to celebrate properly.
The Things You No Longer Worry About Funny Retirement Card is a funny retirement card for coworkers, bosses, friends, and family members escaping the working world. Give it when someone is officially done pretending to care about Monday mornings.
A sarcastic retirement card for the newly unemployed by choice.
Design Note: Some cards feature intentionally distressed typography for a deliberately "worn" aesthetic - this rustic style is purposeful, not a printing error. Please review product images carefully before ordering.
Colors: Actual colors may look slightly different in person than on your screen.
*Items that ship separately take 2-7 business days to ship.
Shipping & Processing
When will my order ship?
Orders typically ship within 1–4 business days. From November through February, please allow 1–6 business days. Items marked as shipping separately take 2–7 business days to ship.
How long does delivery take?
Standard delivery typically takes another 2–5 business days after shipment. Carrier delays can happen, so arrival dates aren’t guaranteed.
Need it sooner?
Eligible orders with expedited shipping ship by the next business day. Transit time begins after the carrier receives your package. Items that ship separately aren’t eligible for expedited processing.
What does shipping cost?
Shipping options and prices appear at checkout. US orders of $40 or more qualify for free shipping.
Ordering a card?
Cards ship in protective rigid mailers to help prevent bending.
