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FLAT $5 SHIPPING. FREE SHIPPING ON ALL US ORDERS OVER $35
Sale
Sale

Funny Birthday Card Shit Without Assistance

  • $6.00
Shipping calculated at checkout.
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At a certain age, “Happy Birthday” starts to mean “Congrats on still being able to function without help.” This funny birthday card for adults celebrates another year of independence—especially in the bathroom department.

Perfect for a dad birthday card, mom birthday card, or a friend with a great sense of humor, this hilarious card is both a celebration and a reminder that aging is coming for us all. Whether they’re turning 30 or 70, it’s never too early to appreciate the little things—like not needing a nurse to help them wipe.

For fans of funny, unique greeting cards, this is the perfect mix of snark and truth. Because let’s be honest, the real birthday wish is staying self-sufficient for another year.
Details

The Card:

- 4 1/2 x 6 1/4 card printed on 100 % cotton textured cardstock
- Comes with a Kraft envelope inside a cellophane or glassine bag
- Envelope must be wet with sponge to close. We do not recommend licking closed. 

- Blank inside. Any notes written in the gift note section of checkout will be printed on the packing slip and not inside the card. We do not print any messages inside cards.

Please look at the photo carefully before purchasing. Some of our cards have distressed or "messy" fonts. They are purposely created to look this way. 

 

Shipping and Processing

*Items that ship separately take 2-7 business days to ship.

SHIPPING

Why does it cost $5 to ship a card? Cards must be shipped in a rigid flat mailer to prevent bending during transit. Cards cannot be shipped with a stamp, in an plain envelope or any other material. 

When will my order ship?

Items ship within 1-4 business days except for between November - February when shipping time is 1-6 business days.

What if I need it sooner?

If you choose expedited shipping, your package will ship by the following business day.  Items that ship separately ship are NOT eligible for expedited shipping.

Priority: 1-3 business days

Ground: 1-5 business days

2 Day - 2 days

3 Day - 3 days

Overnight - Overnight

Please note these are counted after the carrier picks up the item. Carrier can experience unforseen delays which is Crimson and Clover Studio is not responsible for. 

How long will it take to get to me?

Packages generally take 2-7 business days to arrive after shipping unless expedited shipping is chosen. For more info please refer to USPS or UPS's websites for transit times.

USPS/UPS do NOT guarantee delivery times. Therefore Crimson and Clover CANNOT guarantee delivery times. 

TRACKING

You will receive tracking info once your item is shipped.

NON US CUSTOMERS

Please note the buyer is responsible for paying any taxes upon arrival in their home country. Any packages that are sent back because the buyer refused to pay taxes will not be refunded. 

More questions? Check our our FAQ.

Customer Reviews

Based on 76 reviews
96%
(73)
4%
(3)
0%
(0)
0%
(0)
0%
(0)
N
Nina

Hysterical card

S
Sabrina Ensley
My brother loved it!

I sent this to my brother for his birthday and he loved it. He said he was cracking up when he read it.

We are glad he loved it, have a wonderful holiday weekend!

S
Sabrina Ensley
My brother loved it!

I sent this to my brother for his birthday and he loved it. He said he was cracking up when he read it.

We are glad he loved it, have a wonderful holiday weekend!

K
Kristina Gwiazdowski
Love these cards

It is soo hard to find a funny birthday card these days! These are the best! Will be ordering more.

K
Kristina Gwiazdowski
Love these cards

It is soo hard to find a funny birthday card these days! These are the best! Will be ordering more.

123
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At a certain age, “Happy Birthday” starts to mean “Congrats on still being able to function without help.” This funny birthday card for adults celebrates another year of independence—especially in the bathroom department.

Perfect for a dad birthday card, mom birthday card, or a friend with a great sense of humor, this hilarious card is both a celebration and a reminder that aging is coming for us all. Whether they’re turning 30 or 70, it’s never too early to appreciate the little things—like not needing a nurse to help them wipe.

For fans of funny, unique greeting cards, this is the perfect mix of snark and truth. Because let’s be honest, the real birthday wish is staying self-sufficient for another year.
Details

The Card:

- 4 1/2 x 6 1/4 card printed on 100 % cotton textured cardstock
- Comes with a Kraft envelope inside a cellophane or glassine bag
- Envelope must be wet with sponge to close. We do not recommend licking closed. 

- Blank inside. Any notes written in the gift note section of checkout will be printed on the packing slip and not inside the card. We do not print any messages inside cards.

Please look at the photo carefully before purchasing. Some of our cards have distressed or "messy" fonts. They are purposely created to look this way. 

 

Shipping and Processing

*Items that ship separately take 2-7 business days to ship.

SHIPPING

Why does it cost $5 to ship a card? Cards must be shipped in a rigid flat mailer to prevent bending during transit. Cards cannot be shipped with a stamp, in an plain envelope or any other material. 

When will my order ship?

Items ship within 1-4 business days except for between November - February when shipping time is 1-6 business days.

What if I need it sooner?

If you choose expedited shipping, your package will ship by the following business day.  Items that ship separately ship are NOT eligible for expedited shipping.

Priority: 1-3 business days

Ground: 1-5 business days

2 Day - 2 days

3 Day - 3 days

Overnight - Overnight

Please note these are counted after the carrier picks up the item. Carrier can experience unforseen delays which is Crimson and Clover Studio is not responsible for. 

How long will it take to get to me?

Packages generally take 2-7 business days to arrive after shipping unless expedited shipping is chosen. For more info please refer to USPS or UPS's websites for transit times.

USPS/UPS do NOT guarantee delivery times. Therefore Crimson and Clover CANNOT guarantee delivery times. 

TRACKING

You will receive tracking info once your item is shipped.

NON US CUSTOMERS

Please note the buyer is responsible for paying any taxes upon arrival in their home country. Any packages that are sent back because the buyer refused to pay taxes will not be refunded. 

More questions? Check our our FAQ.

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