Christmas is romantic if your idea of romance includes twinkle lights, cocktails, and making inappropriate jokes while someone’s family is in the next room.
If a card covered in mistletoe and heartfelt poetry does not sound remotely like your relationship, good. There are better options.
Browse the full funny Christmas card collection if you already know your partner would rather laugh than cry.
For the couple that flirts like teenagers
The I Wanna Climb Your North Pole Christmas Card gets to the point quickly. It is technically festive. It is also definitely not going on Grandma’s mantel.
For the partner who likes a package joke
The Can't Wait to Open Your Package Christmas Card lets you pretend you are talking about presents. Nobody believes you, but the effort is there.
For the person whose balls deserve seasonal attention
The I'd Like to Jingle Your Balls Christmas Card is exactly the kind of card that proves romance is not dead. It has simply become less tasteful.
What should you write inside?
You do not need to suddenly become serious just because the inside is blank. Write something specific to the two of you. A running joke, a favorite memory from the year, or one genuinely sweet sentence followed immediately by something filthy works beautifully.
If your brain freezes when the pen comes out, use our guide to what to write in a Christmas card when you do not want to sound cheesy.
A funny card can still be romantic
The joke is not replacing affection. It is usually evidence that you know the person well enough to buy something that actually sounds like your relationship. That beats generic holiday sentiment every time.
If you are adding a gift, see our funny Christmas gift guide or browse holiday candles for something that smells festive while the card behaves badly.